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LIfe's a beautiful mess

This week has been quite an adventure, mostly emotionally. Where should I start? First and foremost, I'm still grieving the loss of my late boyfriend who passed away a little over than 2 months ago and second of all, this particular circumstances has ignited emotions from when my mom passed away 5 years ago. We don't know when the end of our lives will come, until it comes and then what shall we do? How do we react? It usually comes when we least expect it, and that's usually what hurts the most. I am sure if we expected death for ourselves or for our loved ones, we would more than likely not take things for granted, but unfortunately due to our frail human nature we pass up opportunities that could have not been avoided. If only I...If only I was honest. If only I hadn't made so much excuses.

Today was a great day, I love my job as a server. I love coffee. I love making other people happy. I love God. I love my family and friends. I love to dance, dance like no one's watching and sing like no one's listening, even if it's off key!

Although I wish I was more honest, I wish I was more ambitious in standing up for myself and being more open especially to those in my family.

Things are never the same again, when a loved one passes away, we no longer get to feel their embrace, have long conversations with them on the phone, but this I know for sure they will forever and always be in our hearts. We must only but believe they are always with us, rather it be a song on the radio that reminds us of them or simply things like the wind blowing in our face.

To be continued....


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